A H.A.M.

Orenthal James Simpson is a HOT ASS MESS!! Period. Point blank.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/11/15/simpsoninterview.ap/index.html

Nothing more. Nothing less. Except for this...OJ is dumb ass...ole raggedy ass bitch ass needs to get back to his roots ass H.A.M. sammich!

Carry on!

The Red Light District

So...on Saturday...a couple of my frat brothers and I visited Baltimore's "Red Light District." We went there after attending a ball. Yes...we were suited....which is issue #1. So, here were are 6 black guys...in suits...looking like we are coming from a MBA conference...in downtown Baltimore...in the Red Light District. Let's just say...we looked out of place. So, we turn the corner after getting directions (yeah...we were walking...in downtown Bodymore)...and there it is....the District. We are walking down the sidewalk...and at the very first door, this bouncer convinces us to come into his establishment...and since there was no cover, we checked it out. All I can say is...YUCK, BARF, ERLL, GAG! I'm talking about...just as SOON as we walked in to the door (us 6 black guys...clearly NOT from Baltimore...and all dressed in suits) we were approached by Becky the stripper. Now...Becky wasn't your Player's Club-type, Magic City/Strokers stripper...she was...err...GROSS! She had more gut than booty...and just looked plain dirty! But, she was happy as hell...as she thought she was about to make a killing. (insert long 3 minute BORAT pause) NOT!! She was trying to get my attention...and it clearly was NOT working. She then proceeded to tell me that she could tell that I was married and scared to be in such an establishment. I then proceeded to give her the "Bitch, back up" stare...and it STILL didn't work. Then, she started telling me her life story...and why she was working there...and why she needed the money. Mind you...all this time, I'm still giving her the "Bitch, back up" stare. She wasn't taking the hint. Then she proceeded to explain that she needed the money to take care of her son...who she had that particular weekend...because she was just given weekend visitation rights. LOL! Yep, you read that right. This heffa had her son for the weekend...but was in the club trying to make a dollar! First of all, why are you JUST getting visitation rights...and why only on the weekend? Isn't that your child? What did you do? Are you a crackhead? She finally got the hint that I wasn't going to bite...as I started to finally round up the troops...she made sure she pressed her ass against me....but clearly...no rise...because you are an ugly ass, more gut than ass having, visitation on the weekend crackhead beyatch!

Needless to say...we left there...and ended up at the real deal strip club called Norma Jeans. Let's just say...though we were only there shortly...like 15 minutes and then it was closing time, I will be going back. :)

Ooops...I Did it Again!

Funny Story from last week:

So, what about I'm sitting here at work...writing, or should I say, attempting to write this draft of an opinion (my writing skills don't seem to be gelling today)...

Anyways, the Judge comes into my office. As usual, he stands by my desk/ and asks me questions about cases. He then smiles and makes the following remark: "You and your choice of music." And, he's smiling, but his smile is a look of wonder. (i.e. the same look that he gave me when I was listening to Dianna Krall or Spyro Gyra or Maroon 5, as if I'm not supposed to listen to different types of music)

Now, I'm thinking...what is so different about my music today? I mean, I'm listening to D'Angelo's Brown Sugar CD (a classic, I might add). What's so different about that? Then, I realize that it is on Track 5...

And Track 5 is aptly titled...S**t, Damn, MF. LOL!

And, did I mention that it was loud? LMAO! Ooops! Needless to say, as he stood there and talked to me, I slowly and slyly turned the volume down a couple notches. LOL!