Happy Hour: The Tragedy

So...I had a rough night last night. But, it starts earlier in the day. I ate lunch at 12...got off at 3...came home and took a nap...arose at 6 to go to my favorite happy hour spot.

And, this is where the tragedy begins.

I go to my favorite bartender...who begins mixing my drink as soon as he sees me walk in the door. (TRAGEDY #1)

I have that drink...plus about 6 more (TRAGEDY #2)

I'm feeling real good....nothing out of the normal for me for a Thursday night.

But then...it hits me. The stomach cramps...and my head begins to spin...and I realize...oh wow, I drank all of that on an empty stomach...I'm drunk and about to vomit. Being the controlled drunk that I am, I take a seat on a stool near my friends...put my head down....and then quickly grab a cup so that I don't vomit all over the place. (TRAGEDY #3) Cup #1 - FULL!

At this point, my friends are in awe b/c I never create this sort of scene. They are actively attending to me...of course, while everyone is watching. (TRAGEDY #4).

At some point, one of my friends is taking a napkin and wiping my forehead. My drunk ass, thinking that this is hilarious, bursts out into laughter...enough so to throw myself off of the stool and onto the floor. (TRAGEDY #5)

Three or four more cups of liquid vomit later (TRAGEDY #s 6-10), I am ready to go. I stand up with head high and proceed out of the door. My friends are trying to figure out who is going to drive me home. As they are formulating the plan, I am steady walking to my car like I'm about to drive myself home. I get to my car...crank it up...and then notice my friends running across the street to stop me. (TRAGEDY #11) I oblige her and then she drives me home...and makes sure I get to bed.

This morning, I awaken to go to work. I hop out of bed, pull a suit out of the closet, and then my head and stomach simultaneously say, "Sit your black ass down!" (TRAGEDY #12) I run to the bathroom, vomit some more, call in to work, and go back to bed for the rest of the day.

At some point, I crawl out of bed...and try to head to the kitchen to get a carbonated beverage. Open the refrigerator and NOTHING!! No carbonation; not even a damn bottle of orange juice. (TRAGEDY #13).

Dark...dark...and special dark!

Needless to say, I stayed my black ass home this evening.