The Heat

...it is hotter than a witch's nipple outside!! I mean...damn...I'm supposed to be living up North and it is hotter here than it is in my native Florida. And, here I am telling people that I could not move back to Florida b/c of the heat...well, if that's true, then I need to move to Canada b/c Florida heat and humidity has taken over the District.

Speaking of heat...so today I go to court to watch some cases. And, one dude was up on a show cause for possible violation of probation. So, the probation officer is telling the judge how the guy has been coming in and testing negative...except for one week, he refused to be tested. And, the judge is like...um....why couldn't you be tested that week? I mean, if you have been testing negative all this time, why all of a sudden are you refusing to be tested? Sounds to me like your piss is going to be cloudy (ok...he didn't say it like that...but that is what he clearly was thinking). So, then the guy goes...it wasn't my fault, your honor. I couldn't go...I just couldn't use it that week. And, of course, the judge is like...b/c you would test positive, right. And, then the guy goes...no, your honor, it's because I got burned...and I couldn't pee. Now...I'm thinking...ooooohh.....he got burnt....I wonder if the judge knows what "burned" means. Clearly, he didn't b/c he goes...well how did you get burned? At this point, it is taking everything that I have NOT to burst into laughter. Then the guy goes...Sex, your honor. The look on the judges face at this point is CLASSIC...you could see it set in on him. Then, he's like...SIDEBAR!! LMAO!! Now THAT was hilarious!!