Siri Hates Me

This is the conversation that I had with Siri the other day, who was clearly giving me attitude. 

Me:  "Siri, play Danza Kuduro" 

Siri:  "Will, I couldn't find "dumb f*ck" in your music." 

Me:  "Did you just call me a "dumb f*ck"?" 

Siri:  "Would you like me to call "dumb f*ck" from now on?" 

Me:  No, Siri. B*tch. 

Siri:  I respect you. (why do I feel like...in my spirit...there was a super duper side eye with that statement) 

Me:  Damn, I'm sorry, Siri. 

Siri:  It's all good, Will. 

I'm convinced that Siri is "urban." #imjustsayin

Napa Valley Tri -- The Day I Saw Jesus

That day was Saturday, April 14, 2012. And, it was approximately 7:01 a.m. in the morning at Lake Berryessa in Napa Valley, CA. Let me back up. Near the end of last year, I allowed some friends to peer pressure me into participating with them in a triathlon. I told them absolutely not at first, but then when they told me where it was -- Napa Valley aka Wine Country -- and then all of them agreed to participate, I felt that I had to participate as well. So, over the last few months I have been training for this event. I was most concerned with the swim portion of the event because, though I can swim, swimming leisurely is completely different that swimming long distance. And, I found out very quickly in my training that swimming long distances was not my forte. So, I hired a trainer and once a week for nearly 2 months, he trained me on the proper techniques of swimming long distances. And, last week, I finally truly felt like I could do the swim portion w/out a hitch. I knew that I could do the bike and run portions in my sleep, but even though I had properly trained, I was admittedly still a bit nervous about the swim. Fast forward to Friday, April 13th. We go and pick up our packets and it is a tad bit chilly at the lake. It had rained like cats and dogs the night before, so the water appeared to be just a tad bit choppy. And, the buoy for my turnaround appeared to be much much further than I anticipated. But, oh well, I have trained...I have the technique down...I will make it. 4:30 am on Saturday, the 14th, we leave our vacation home for the start of the race. It is like 40-50 degrees outside, and I'm thinking...I sure hope it warms up...and I hope the lake is not that cold. I mean...I'm standing out here in a full wetsuit with swim shoes and a swim cap on, and my teeth are chattering from both the cold and the nerves. People are jumping into the water to get their bodies adjusted to the temperature and coming back out of the water expressing how cold the water is. And, I'm thinking...I'm not going in the water until I have to. It is now 6:59 am and the countdown to the start has begun. And, at 7:00 am on the dot, the siren blows and the race starts. I had already decided that I would let the first wave of people go first b/c it would be crowded and I didn't want to be swimming over the others...or be too congested. So, about 30 seconds in, I start walking in the water and then jump all the way in. And, that's when it happened. That is when I saw Jesus. The water was so cold that I could not remember how to swim...or talk...or breathe...or my name. Apparently, it was 48 degrees to be exact. In an instant, everything that I knew was no longer and I was like a fish out of water. I tried to think warm thoughts and remember the proper techniques, and I couldn't. My body was in complete shock. And, I seriously thought I would not make it out of the water; though, interestingly enough, I was determined to finish. So, I turned over on my back and started floating on my back and looking to the sky and praying to Jesus. And, it was he and I for the next 37/38 minutes in the water. There were several times when I turned over and did the proper strokes, but those times didn't last too long because my legs started cramping up. And, 30 minutes in, as I heard the siren blow for the next heat to start, I panicked and tried to go faster. But, I couldn't. So, I just said...I'll get there when I get there. And, though I was one of the last people in my heat to come out of the water, I finished the 1/2 mile swim. I got out of the water freezing and disoriented, but I made it. I ran into the transition area...trying to make my brain unfreeze and remember what I was supposed to be doing. And, about 8 minutes later (which is way longer than it should have been), I finally hopped on my bike and started the 12 mile up and down hill bike ride. I ended up making up considerable time on both the bike and the run...though the entire time, I was STILL traumatized by the swim. What's so ironic about the whole situation is that there were times during my training that my swim coach rescheduled my weekly sessions b/c there was a problem with the heaters in the pool that I practiced in, and he said it would be way too cold for me to practice Be that as it may, I finished and I can check that experience off of my bucket list. Will I do another triathlon? (crickets)

My Inner Fat Boy

Dante. Yep, that's his name. Who is that, you ask? Oh...that's my inner fat boy. That's right...there is someone else that resides in this thin frame...and he emerges pretty damn often. Often enough that many of my friends routinely call or contact me to get advice on restaurants and food in and around the District. But, they don't really call to speak to me. They call to speak to Dante. Dante is indeed the food consigliere. Dante loves...no...adores food and gets uber excited by just the thought of it. And, on days like today...a beaufitul Friday...but not just any Friday...Farragut Food Truck Friday...Dante is exploding with glee. And, then it happens -- Dante looks at the FoodTruckFiesta real time food truck tracker (yes, it is bookmarked in all of Dante's electronic devices) and realizes that there are 14 food trucks in the Square today. 14. Yes. One cannot explain how syced Dante is right now. Uber syced. The problem with having an inner fat boy, though, is making sure that he stays in his lane b/c it ain't like my metabolism stays slaying the fat. No sirs and ma'ams. Keeping the inner fat boy requires having a routine workout (or weight loss) plan b/c God forbid the inner fat boy becomes just...the fat boy. Hell to the naw...can't have that! Won't have that...by any means necessary. Yep...by any means. Anyways...enough typing...Dante needs to eat.

Travelogue: Zanzibar

After an awesome day on safari in the Ngongongoro Crater, it was time for some rest and relaxation. And, thus on Friday morning, we flew back to the island of Zanzibar. Note that I said that we flew back because we actually spent some time in the Zanzibar airport a few days ago before flying to Arusha. Anyways, upon arriving in Zanzibar, I was taken aback yet again about the nature of their "international" airport. I mean, I know this is a remote island, but for this to be the vacation spot of many Europeans, you would think that their airport would be a little more modern. However, that is definitely not the case. We proceed to pick up our bags, and head to the currency exchange desk to get more cash. (I'll post an entire blog about this particular experience and similar experiences during the trip...as it deserves is own time.) We then go out and get a driver to take us to our hotel, the Doubletree Resort in Nungwi, which is over an hour away at the very northern tip of the island. We found Rasheed and off we went. Rasheed was a very nice older Muslim gentleman who seemed to be in his early 60s. And, when I say that his driving style was the polar opposite of Maku's, it is an understatement. Rasheed was driving like we had somewhere to go. I have never in my life been in a car where someone blew the horn as much as he did. It was hilarious. And, of course, he was riding bumpers and kept passing people. My nerves were a little rattled, but at this point, I had gotten a little used to it. He talked about the island and the different areas that we were travelling through. He told us that Zanzibar was approx. 95% Muslim, and that was evident to me from the people that we saw as we drove from one end of the island to the other. At one point, just over half way, he stopped the car at near this side street market where folks were selling street food. He wanted us to have some corn from one of the vendors. Of course, our guards were up from jump because the one thing that the doctor told us when we each got our shots is to not eat any street food. We all told Rasheed that we didn't want any corn. But, he was adamant that we each get one...and he paid for it and the vendor handed it to us. So...then we are at a dilemma...to eat or not to eat. To be honest, I love street food. I mean...anyone who knows me that I love the food trucks here in the District, and when travelling to countries in the Caribbean, I love stopping by the little street vendors for food as it is always quite tasty. But, that was not in my plan here because the doctor was so adamant about us not doing that. So...each of us held our corn without eating it. Then, slowly but surely, each of us ended up taking a bite. LOL! I mean, it really wasn't anything but grilled corn on the cob...and it was very good. Anyways, we finally get to Nungwi and see the signs for the hotel. We then turn onto the most horrible road that I have been on ever. It was unpaved, winding, with bigs holes in it at certain point, and going through Nungwi Village. It was so odd. I'm like...for the amount of money that we paid for this resort, you would think that they would have invested in the infrastructure to make sure getting to the hotel was not as difficult. At last, we arrived at the gate to the resort. And, once security verified that we were guests, they open up the gates, which completely blocked the view of the resort, and it was like we were driving into an oasis -- a stark contrast from life outside the gates. The resort was beautiful and the staff was great. We decided that today would be the day that we did absolutely nothing. So, we got situated in the room, and spent the rest of the day drinking at the the pool bar (note, the seats of the bar were actually in the pool) and just chilling out. This was the polar and much needed opposite from our safari adventure the day before...and it was great! While walking by the beach, I was approached by some locals who were offering to take my friends and I out snorkeling. They were real cool, though they had no credentials. I chatted them up for a while, as they seemed to appreciate that I was American and actually a guest at the resort (vs. working there). I called my friends over and told them about them the snorkeling excursion and told them to make the decision whether they wanted to go. They negotiated a deal and set a time for the next morning. Note that I said that THEY negotiated the deal and time...because I promise you that just as soon as the guys left, these fools were talking about how they were not going and how those dudes were probably Somali pirates. LMAO and SMH! We drank and ate the rest of the night away, and called it a day. Next morning, we head out to the beach and it was awesome. The tide was so low that we were able to walk out over a 1/4 mile out into the ocean. No joke...all of the fishing boats that we had seen the night before were not just chilling in the sand. We walk and walk and walk and walk...taking tons of pictures. It was amazing and yet another sign to me that God is indeed real. As I was thinking about life, I was also thinking about the fact that we had made an appointment with the locals to go snorkeling and I just knew they would be waiting for us when we got back. So I stayed out in the ocean for at least an hour...and then walked toward the lighthouse to avoid having to deal with that. Of course, that didn't work, b/c as I got to the lighthouse, I heard someone calling my name. When I looked back, it was Marco, one of hte locals, saying that my friends were waiting on me for the trip. I didn't tell him that my friends had already said that they were not going, but I had actually decided that I was just going to go b/c they had prepared for us, and if we didn't want to go, we shouldn't have negotiated and set a time. I get back to the hotel, and these fools are up around the corner hiding...trying to figure out what to do. LOLOL! I'm like..I'm going. Finally, BG agreed to go b/c he didn't want me to go by myself. Yes...this could have been dangerous, but I hate outright lying to folk...and I was ready to battle if I had to. LOL! Of course, we head out with them down the beach to where they said the boat was (after asking one of the workers at our hotel whether he thought they were legit or not, and he said yes) and find out quickly that they were very legit and working as part of a legit water adventures company. And, we had a great time snorkeling with them in the Indian Ocean. When finishing, we talked to Marco and Martin about where to go party that evening, and they said if we would like, they'd come pick us up. At this point, I'm like...bet...let's do it as they have already proven that they are legit. And, that night, we ended up going with this to Kendwa Rocks, this party on the beach. Next day, it was time to leave our island oasis resort. Rasheed picked us up and we headed to Stone Town, the biggest city on Zanzibar to take our ferry to Dar es Salaam. We had planned on stopping by the spice markets, as Zanzibar is known for its spices. Unfortunately, it was raining cats and dogs and we were not getting out in that monsoon. Luckily, by the time we made it to Stone Town, the rain had pretty much subsided...and Rasheed took us on a short tour of this old city. After over an hour trying to secure our tickets to the ferry, he took us to this local spot for lunch. And, when I tell you it was the best food that we had our entire trip, I don't lie. It was awesome. After lunch, we parted with Rasheed and waited on the ferry with the hundreds of other people. And, it was hot and humid as hell, particularly after that rain. We finally made it onto the ferry and set off for our 2 1/2 hour ferry ride to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania's capital...and to the airport to head home. Overall, my experience in Zanzibar and on the entire trip was awesome. Upon arriving back home in DC last night, it dawned on me that I had spent 9 days away. Had 9 flights. Visited 6 cities (though Amsterdam shouldn't really count b/c I never left the airport). Stayed in 3 hotels. Logged miles and miles and miles with 2 friends. And, all of this equated to one hell of a Thanksgiving trip -- 1 that I will remember forever.

Travelogue: Ngorongoro Crater

11.24.11 Thanksgiving in The Motherland. I have sooooo much to be thankful for...and today, it's more evident than it has been in quite awhile...as today is the day I've been looking forward to for most of life. Today is the day that I go on a safari. Woo hoo! I'm uber syced! So...we arise early. It's funny...I was so excited that an woke up an hour before my alarm went off and just listened to the sounds of the night...and it's no telling what I was hearing as I was lying in bed in the lodge...my bed covered by mosquito netting...in Arusha, Tanzania. I get up and immediately Skype my family. I am 8 hours ahead of them and they are just as excited as I am. Plus, it's Thanksgiving and I have to see their faces as they are the thing that I am most grateful for. Anyways, like clockwork, our guide, Maku, arrives on time and we set put on out 3 hr long journey to the crater. Mind you, Maku drives slow as hell. There are old ladies in walkers passing us...sophisms actually a 2 hr trip. But anyways, as we pass through village by village, he gives us the 411 on each. Over two hours into the trip, we finally turnon thee road that leads to the crater. Not even a mile in, we come to a halt. Why you ask? Welll, though this is not the rainy season, it has been raining more than normal...in fact, it was raining while we were driving. The result of the rain was erosion...erosion which led to one side of the road that we are supposed to travel downto collapsing. Yes...you read that right. The freaking road had collapsed...and there were tons of folks on both sides of the road standing outside and watching the water careen down the newly developed cliff. Of course, both BG and I were like...we are just going to wait this out bc we are going on a safari come hell or high water. Funny thing is that that was both literally and figuratively. Lol! And so we did just that. We sat there for damn near 45 mi utes waiting for the water level to decrease to the point that we could cross. And one we got the green light, we went on our way. Passing through, we noticed that a couple cars did not make it cross. And later on, we found out that at least two people lost their lives. Again I say, I have so much to be thankful for bc that could have easily been us. Anyways, we proceed to the crater. In order to get there, we have to traverse up a mountain. Why is it that Maku all of a sudden felt like he needed to become an Indy car driver? My nerves. Shot. After all most losing it a couple times, we finally get to the top and then descend into the crater. To say that is was breathtaking is an understatement. I was indeed in awe. No explanation other than God is real. Finally, at the bottom, we get to open up the top of the Land Rover, as we would start to begin seeing lots of animals. And, the crater did not disappoint. First, there were the gazelles and wildebeests. Then jackals and warthogs. Then zebra. And they all seemed to be coexisting. Then the hyenas and the sole cheetah that was saw. And then the king of the jungle...or should I say queens bc you that it is the female that seems to do most of the work. This one hyena actually scared the hell out of us because we didn't see it...and then all of a sudden,it was right up on our truck. Another hyena actually got buck with me and I was like...I need you to back on down boss. Of course, my ass never left the truck. Lol! The we saw ostriches, hippos, rhinos, and elephant...monkeys. It was sensory overload...and I enjoyed very last minute of it. Definitely, the experience of a lifetime. Again, I am abundantly blessed. After the safari, we had our Tanzanian version of Thanksgiving (ie...we had regular ole dinner...lol). But I was thankful to be able to Skype with my family yet again...to tell them about my amazing experience. Despite not being with my family, it was indeed one of the best Thanksgivings I have ever had.

Travelogue: Tanzania - Day 1

Four East African cities. 3 flights. 10 hours. 1 day. So...this morning we raised early in downtown Nairobi to catch our 8:30 am flight to Zanzibar. It was a struggle getting up, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Today, we would be flying Precision Air, which is an African continental airline. I must say...they were on it. On time at each stop and very friendly. Anyways, we arrived in Zanzibar at 10 ish. Flying into Zanzibar was gorgeous. I couldn't wait to get back here to chill on the beautiful beaches. We walk into the airport and it looks every bit like the airport in like a 1950s island movie. Apparently, Zanzibar is like the holiday playground for Europeans. We walked in and we were clearly the only Negros in the building that were not working. And so I politely found a seat in the middle of the lobby, posted up, pulled out my iPad, and proceeded to watch The Wire...while giving folks the side eye. Lol! I know that's wrong, but I did...to let folks know that I'm supposed to be here just like you. Don't play. #bourgienegro Next stop was a 15 minute flight to Dar es Salaam. Nothing much here...but we will be back to elmore on our final day in Africa. And finally a flight to Kilimanjaro International Airport. Yep...that Kilimanjaro. It is beautiful and amazing. We flew into Kilimanjaro and were met by our guide, Make. Maku then drove us to Arusha, a small town at the base of Mt. Meru. We are staying at the Karamo Lodge, which is literally in the hills of the mountain. Think Disney's Wilderness Lodge...but actually in the wilderness and with individual lodges with mosquito netting. This will be our home for two nights, with tomorrow being our all day safari. I'm uber synced about that...so stay tuned.

Travelogue: Nairobi - Days 2 and 3

(currently sitting at a sports pub listening to Michael Jackson's You Rock My World) Nairobi has been a great experience thus far. Initially, I must admit that I was a little nervous...but only because the State Department issued a travel warning for Kenya just a few weeks ago. But, now that I'm here, I'm A-OK and ready to explore. I can't say the same for BG though. LOL! So, yesterday, our first excursion was to an elephant orphanage. It was awesome and we got to get up close and personal with the pachyderms. Amazing animals. En route to the elephants, I realized that driving in Nairobi is a skill. There are street signs, but I swear for the most part that they are just suggestions on what you should do...that no one seems to follow. And "riding the bumper" is the norm...as if you don't, you can best believe that someone will maneuver their way in front of you. Lol! I was on edge the entire time. Anyways, after the elephants, we went to the Giraffe Center and fed the giraffes. I must admit, this was one of the highlights of my day. The giraffes were eating right out of my hands...and then when they were overit.com, they politely shot us the deuces. LOL! And did you realize that giraffes only sleep between 5 and 30 minutes every 24 hours? Me either. Ha! Then it was lunch time. We went to this great restaurant called Carnivore -- think Kenyan Fogo de Chao. We sat outside, which was nice -- except for the damn cats. I don't know who told the owner of this restaurant that it was OK to have his house cats outside. Like seriously? Cats are evil and I don't trust them. But, I was hungry...so I anyways. Ha! Next up was the croc farm. Yeah...there were crocodiles everywhere and all I could think was...I could make a killing off of some shoes and belts at this joint. LMAO! And then it happened. The worst part of the day. We head over to the Nairobi National Museum and get stuck in the wort traffic I have ever been in in my life. It's bad enough that my nerves were already shot from just riding in the taxi -- but then, to have to sit in this hellish traffic for over two hours was the worst. I fell asleep twice...woke back up and we STiLL were not there. I was about to just get out of the car and walk...though I didn't know where the hell I was. It was torture. And then, you know we got to the museum and that joint was closed. I started to have a hissy fit like a 5 year old...but it would have been to no avail. So, back to The hotel we went to chill and unwind from that hellish traffic situation. After a few hours, it was time to hit the streets bc I was like, I'll be damned if I come to Nairobi and not go out - terror warning or no terror warning. So I do some Internet research and we ask a few of the hotel folks, and we end up at the spot called The Florida Club. Ha! How fitting! It was aight..very safe...a decent crowd...and cheap drinks. But speaking of cheap drinks, why is it that any drink here consists of a shot. Like one. Like, Ki ordered a double Jameson and that joint came out looking like a double shot. WTH! We ended p just ordering a bottle of Kenyan rum for like $20.00. And after finishing the bottle...it was time to call it a night. Day 2: why in the world we told our driver to be outside at 9 am is beyond me bc clearly we were hungover. And of course, he was actually there by 845. SMH! Anyways, off to the museum we go. It was actually pretty awesome. Great learning about the rich culture of his great land. After the museum, it was off to the famous Massai Market. Time for bargaining. We played good cop-bad cop. It's funny though bc these salesmen were really trying to get us. Ummm...pump your breaks, sir...you don't know us and we don't take well to attempted bamboozling. No sir. We will give you $35 for all of that. And if you can't work with that, then we will move on to the next person. LOL! Needless to say, we ended up with some good deals. After that, it was time to get some rest...and then do a little self guided walking tour. I mean...you know I had to get some pictures. And now...I am sitting here...anxious about our next stop. Tanzania, here we come in the am.

Travelogue: Nairobi - Arrival

Its 9:50 am in Nairobi. After traveling for nearly 24 hours (8 hour flight to Paris, 6. Hour layover, and then another 8 hour flight to Nairobi), we finally arrived in the Motherland. I don't think it has hit me yet because we arrived at night, and I really couldn't see anything. But, I'm uber synced about what the day has in store. To be honest, we were a little apprehensive about coming to Kenya since the State Department issued a travel warning for Kenya a few weeks ago. And, though I will be extra careful while here, my anxiety level has completely diminished...well, for the most part. So far, everyone has been very nice and accommodating, and I can only hope it stays that way. Last night, as I briefly Skyped with my parents so that they could see that I made it here safely, it dawned on me how abundantly blessed I am to be able to travel the world. Though my parents have travelled and lived in different places around the world (my dad is a 22 year Army vet), I know it makes them extremely proud that I have put myself in a position to be able to see the world...and that makes me happy. #butforthegraceofgod Anyways, it's time to see what this city has to offer.

Publix Changes Lives

QOTD: "I believe that Publix changes lives." - SYR

If that ain't the truth!

Ever since I left the South and moved to the "East Coast," (yeah...I know...DC is still the South...lol), one of the biggest voids in my life has been Publix. Yes, you read that right...a damn grocery store. But, Publix is not your ordinary grocery store. It is where shopping is a pleasure.

And, why is shopping a pleasure at Publix? One word: QUALITY! Quality food and quality service. These are two qualities that these grocery stores in DC lack. I mean...true Whole Foods is quality...but you can't get Kellogg's Corn Flakes at Whole Foods. And, every single time I leave Whole Foods, I spend damn near $100 dollars, and come out with only 2 bags of stuff. There's no pleasure in that.

So what's so quality about Publix, you ask? Outside of EVERYTHING...specifically, for me....the Deli and the Bakery. Before I moved to the District, I hadn't had a sandwich from a "sub shop" in YEARS! I'm like...why in the hell would I go to Subway or Potbelly or Jimmy Johns or wherever when there is Publix deli near? I mean....hellloooo Boar's Head meat...and the fact that I get to decide whatever meat and cheese in the deli counter I want on my sandwich. (An aside: do you know I had to go to a special deli to actually get Boar's Head meat in DC...like...Safeway and Giant do not carry it...WTF!!)) And, then they actually give you more than two or three pieces of meat. I am a grown ass man....what in the hell am I gonna do with those two slices of meat and cheese? And, then there is the chicken? WHAT! That joint rides! And normally folks don't like store bought side salads....well, Publix doesn't have the problem. Them joints are tasty! And, now that I think about it...Publix is the ONLY grocery store that I can think of that people use religiously to cater their entire Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, or any other holiday for that manner.

And, then the Bakery. I must admit that I love fresh out of the oven Publix doughnuts wayyyy more than fresh out of the oven Krispy Kremes. I know...I might be crazy, but it's true. And, who doesn't love Publix cakes and ice cream cakes. And those calyspo cookies! Yes sir! Sign me up!

I mean...everything thing there is top quality. Even all of the Publix brand items are quality...so why pay that $6 for a gallon of Edy's when I can get Publix brand for $2 cheaper and it tastes just as good.

And, let's not forget the Publix has the freshest produce, meats and seafood in the business. And, when they steam the shrimp in the Old Bay. Woo lawd!!

I promise you that nearly everytime I go home, or visit a state/city that I know has a Publix, it is one of my VERY first stops. Like...before I even get to my house to see my parents, I drive directly to Publix and order my favorite meal: sausalito turkey and pepper jack cheese on white sub; hot and spicy wings; some King Hawaiian rolls, sweet tea, and a glazed twist from the bakery. My mouth is literally salivating just thinking about it.

Yes...this whole post came about b/c my ass is hungry. But, I'm about to fix that soon. Too bad there is no Publix around. #kicksrocks #homesick

*this is not a paid advertisement...but I'm just saying...maybe they SHOULD pay me. LOL!*

The Etiquette of "Reply All"

Your first instinct should NEVER be to hit "reply all."

Even after that first instinct, you should really have a moment with yourself and truly consider whether hitting "reply all" is necessary when responding to an email that has numerous recipients -- particularly, random recipients. Because, once you hit "reply all," you open the flood gates for everyone else on that list to do the same thing. And, I cannot STAND when folks unnecessarily reply to all of the recipients of an email for no damn reason. In fact, if you do that, kill yourself!

OK...maybe that was harsh...but I meant it. I mean...what makes you think that everyone on that email wants to know your response? It's one thing if the initial sender purposefully initiates a debate to which all recipients would need to see the others' responses. It's also another thing if the sender specifically asks the recipients to reply all.

If someone sends an email, however, to their random group of friends (friends who may or may not know one another) saying, for example, "I'll be at ABC Bar on Thursday...Let me know whether you can make it out"...you should reply directly to the sender -- not to everyone on the list. If you DO reply all to that email...you really deserve to be hit by a bus. I mean...what makes you so important that you feel the need to respond to every single person on that list, whether you know them or not? Why do I, who just happened to be on the list just like you, need to know that you are not going to be able to make it because you have self defense class; or because you will be working late; or because you have a hair appointment; or because you have to go to your kid's choral recital. Why do I need to know all of that? I don't even know you and could care less about what you or your tone def kid has on their schedule. Wasting my damn time reading a pointless email.

See...that was just an example and my pressure is already up. Anyways, email etiquette tip of the day, DO NOT reply all unless it is absolutely necessary.

Columbus Day

So...apparently...today is a holiday.

Clearly, I didn't get that memo, and neither did the powers that be at my firm.

All day yesterday, folks are trying to get me to go out and do this and that because "we don't have to go to work tomorrow." Newsflash: I do...and every time that you remind me of such, I want to punch you in the eye.

And, what makes it even worse is that instead of taking the Metro, as usual, I decided to drive because all of the parking restrictions are lifted today. And, I'm like...why not just drive and park at the meters in front of the building since it's free?

Yeah...soooo...what I didn't think about this morning is that the folks that are like me and had to work today had the same idea. I get to the building and drive around for a good 15 minutes looking for a park. No dice. Finally, I end up just parking in the garage because I was over looking for a street park. So, now...not only am I at work when many of my friends are not -- I also have to pay $20 at the end of the damn day to get my car out of the garage. #losing

And, let's not mention how beautiful it is outside today.

Hmph! Yep, I'm in a mood.

Farragut Food Truck Fridays

The first step is acceptance.

I accept, and admit, that I am a fat boy trapped in a skinny boy's body. I love food. No I'm dead ass serious...I really do.

And, one of the things that brings me much happiness is Farragut Food Truck Fridays -- particularly, on a day like this, when it is so beautiful outside.

What is Farragut Food Truck Fridays, you ask? Think a mini-Truckeroo. On most, if not all, Fridays, there are at least 10 mobile food trucks out surronding Farragut Square. There are a few that are always out there on Fridays, including, Sol Mexican Grill, Tasty Kabob, CarnBBQ, The Rolling Ficelle, the Cheesecake Truck, etc. But, others, rotate.

And, I look forward to going out for lunch on Fridays to try a new food truck. It's so well known at my firm that I am food truck stan that many of my colleagues call or email me now for suggestions on which food trucks to try out...especially on Farragut Food Truck Fridays. In fact, one day, I sent an email to the entire firm with the link to www.foodtruckfiesta.com, and the subject line said "The Website that Will Change Your Life." HA!

Anyways, today I'm going to try out chicken plate from the AZN Eats truck, which specializes in Korean BBQ. Let's hope that they are good.

Farragut Food Truck Fridays. #FTW

Kanye Didn't Do ISH!!

OK. So Taylor Swift's Fearless won Album of the Year at last night's Grammys. And tons of my friends were in uproar. Facebook statuses consistently displayed how folks thought that it was a travesty that she won...and how she is just America's little princess...and more often that not, she ought to thank Kanye West for making her career. And, each time that I read one of those statuses, I gave the side eye, and thought...I'm going to need to you know the facts before making such an ignorant statement...particularly if you have never listened to her album or tracked its success.

Now, I am by no means a Taylor Swift stan. In fact, I think her performance last night with Stevie Nicks was horrible. They sounded a hot ass mess. However, Kanye West has NOTHING at ALL to do with the quality and popularity of her album.

Let's look back:

1. The 2009 MTV Awards, where Kanye acted a damn coon, and jumped on the stage while Taylor Swift was accepting her award for Best Female Video aired on September 13th, 2009.

2. Kanyegate happened AFTER MTV had already chosen her to win Best Female Video. I state this because I think people forget that she was on the stage to accept an award before Kanye entered her life.

3. Fearless was released November 11, 2008, selling nearly 600K copies in its first week. Though released at such a late date in 2008, the only two albums to sell better than that in 2008 were Lil Wayne's The Carter 3 and Coldplay's Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends. Indeed, Fearless sold 2.1 million copies in 2008. And, as a reminder, Kanye didn't happen into September 2009.

4. In its debut week, seven songs on the album charted in the Billboard Hot 100. Debut Week: November 2008. Kanye: September 2009.

5. Two of Taylor Swift's albums were in the Top Selling Albums of 2008, Fearless at No. 3, and her self-titled debut album, at No. 6. With this feat, she became the first artist in the history of Neilsen Soundscan to have two different albums in the Top 10 on a year end album chart. This was 2008. Kanye: 2009.

6. Fearless continued to sell like no other in 2009, staying in the top 10 for weeks on end. In fact, the album topped the Billboard 200 for 11 non-consecutive weeks and topped the Billboard Top Country Albums for 35 non-consecutive weeks. This was all prior to Kanyegate.

7. On July 3, 2009, it was announced by Yahoo! Music that Fearless was the top-selling album of the first half of 2009 in the United States. Kanye didn't happen until September 13, 2009.

8. Prior to September 13, 2009, the album had spent an unprecedented 42 or 43 weeks in the Billboard Top 15...and in fact, I think the Top 10. Again, this is all prior to Kanye. And, yes, the album is STILL in the top 10 more than a year later. In fact, not only was this album the 3rd top selling album of 2008, it was THE top selling album of 2009, most of the sales coming PRIOR to September 13, 2009.

I'm sure there are many other facts...but now let me talk about some of her awards and nominations, prior to Kanye:

1. In Feb 2009, she was nominated as Best New Artist at the Grammys.
2. In 2008, she won Top Female Vocalist, and her debut album was nominated for Album of the Year, at the Academy of Country Music Awards.
3. In 2008, she won Female Country Artist of the Year at the American Music Awards.
4. She won 3 BMI Awards, which are awarded to songwriters, in 2007 and 2008.
5. She won 3 CMT Music Awards in 2007 and 2008.

OK...so there are countless others that came before September 13, 2009...the day that Kanye decided to act like an ass! But, you get my drift.

And, another thing. Let's not forget about that fact that she wrote, produced, and composed every track on the album, with only half of the songs having a co-writer. And, I'm not talking about 12 co-writers for one song like many other artists have; I'm talking about one, maybe two, other co-writers. All of the rest of the songs she wrote by herself.

And all of this by a COUNTRY artist...which makes her MTV Video Music Award all the more amazing b/c we all know that MTV isn't a haven for country artist. The fact that she won that award signifies her stellar crossover success.

So...chill out on saying that Kanye made this girl's career. No ma'am. No sir. SHE made her career long before Kanye acted a fool. And, yes...maybe YOU didn't hear of her before Kanye, but that's because YOU don't listen to country music, or any stations that play Top 40 music. That ain't her fault...that's yours. But, clearly she has been killing it before Kanye, and has continued to continued to after him.

Now, I will say that I still wanted Lady Gaga or DMB to win Album of the Year last night. LOL! I mean, Gaga KILLED it this year, and her album was excellent. And, DMB...well, they consistently come with an amazing album, and Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King did not disappoint. But, I can understand and agree with Taylor winning.

That is all.

Carry on.

Crashgate: Who's to Blame?

So, I'm reading some articles, blogs, and posts about the Salahis crashing President Obama's first White House state dinner. It's funny to me that many people in their comments, and on blogs, seem to be blaming Desiree Rogers, the White House Social Secretary, for the party crashing scandal.

Maybe I'm missing something here. It was my understanding that the Salahis were not on the guest list. So, if this is truly the case, how is Desiree to blame? The real culprit is the Secret Service as it's their responsibility to protect the President. Desiree's responsibilty was to organize the dinner and create the guest list, on which the Salahis did not appear. People are commenting that she should have been there, or had someone on her staff there at the gate with the Secret Service. What is the White House...the club or something? I mean...is it like...me standing at the door in front of Station 9 or Jin or Posh with the VIP list to an invite only party, yet letting other folks in as well on my own accord. Hell no! It's the WHITE HOUSE! If you are not on the list, you are not getting in. Point. Blank. I mean, I went to the White House a few weeks ago to see the Christmas decorations, and one of my friends who was supposed to be on the list, could not get in because his name wasn't on the list. And, it didn't even matter that the President was not even in town, he had to go right back to his car and go home because he was not getting in, even though the White House employee that invited him was there to vouch that he was supposed to be on the list. Secret Service said...NO SIR! And, in the few other times I have had the opportunity to visit the WH, it was the same...no name on the pre-approved list...no entry!

So, in the case of the state dinner, when the First Family would be present, as well, as the First Family of India, and the many other dignataries and luminaries that were rightfully supposed to be in attendance, the Secret Service should have put the brakes on the Salahis when they were indeed not on the list. They are the ones that dropped the ball, not Desiree.

For Real, Alex Rodriguez!

I just had to say something about this b/c I am still pissed off about it.

So, last night, I'm sitting and watching our President give his first prime time conference. President Obama walked in, his usual cool and collected self. He began the press conference by giving about an 8-10 minute speech on the urgency and importance of Congress to pass an ecomonic stimulus package. Following the speech, he fielded questions from the press.

First of all, though this was an open press conference, it was CLEARLY called as a result of President Obama wanting to influence Congress to pass the stimulus package. In other words, this press conference was about the economy...and I cannot STAND when folks go off topic. The first reporter to do so was the lady from Reuters who took it upon herself, though she was only the second reporter to ask questions, to "shift gears to foreign policy." (insert side eye) The first thing I thought was...is it me...or did he just give a 10 minute speech about the economy...and you stand your triflin ass up and immediately ask about Iran. GTFOH here with that.

The next person to break protocol was Ed Henry from CNN who asked about the withdrawal of troops from Iraq and Afghanistan. Though this is tangentially related to the economy, I still felt, in my spirit, that he was off topic.

Two questions later, President Obama calls for a question from Michael Fletcher of The Washington Post. I sat up b/c I realized this was a brotha! Not that I wasn't intently paying attention to the other questions and answers, but I really wanted to see what this brotha had to say.

But...then it happens. Of ALL of the questions in the WORLD that he could have asked, particularly related to the economy, which was the de facto topic of the press conference, THIS BAMA gets up and asks President Obama about his reaction to Alex Rodriguez's admission to using steriods. Very loudly, I said...you HAVE TO BE F**KIN KIDDING ME!! I wanted to jump THROUGH the TV. And, b/c I feel like I know President Obama personally (lol), I feel like, in his spirit, he wanted to say, SIT YOUR TRIFLIN ASS DOWN asking that dumb ass question! Folks are losing their jobs, homes, livelihoods...and you are asking him about BASEBALL?>

I can't.

I just can't.

That is all.

Carry on.

Fireworks over Lake Michigan?

OK...so I went to Chicago over the Fourth of July weekend to experience that annual event that is the Taste of Chicago. And, tasted is exactly what I did. I had toasted ravioli, and jerk chicken, and a ginormous (yep, that's my word, and I'm trademarking it) turkey leg, and some mango dusted fries with chutney, and some noodles, and...well...you get the drift. My favorite taste came in the form of a sweet potato cheesecake. That joint was off the chain.



Enough talk about the Taste...let me get to the point. Anyways, picture it. Chicago. July 4, 2008. I am in the 3rd largest city in the nation, and of course, I expect to see fireworks to celebrate our country's independence. I had heard that fireworks were done on the 3rd, but I was like...what real American city in their right mind would do fireworks on the 3rd and not the 4th? Anyways, we find out that there would be fireworks both at Navy Pier and Grant Park at 9:30. So, my friend and I make our way through Millennium Park, through the Taste (of course, while scoping out what we were going to be tasting the next day) and Grant Park, take a few pictures, and then go to find a spot along the waterfront so that we could enjoy the fireworks, particularly since the Fourth is one of her favorite holidays. So, we find a spot, sit in the grass and just people watch. Then, 9:18 rolls around and the fireworks begin! Mind you, everyone was told that they would start at 9:30; however comma, clearly someone's watch was wrong. Anyways, we are enjoying the fireworks and hearing all of the children in awe. And, then it happens. The fireworks stop. But, here's the catch: it's 9:22/9:23. My friend and I look at each other and both of us are like...I know that's not it. This silence and dark sky must MUST be indicating that it's time for intermission. That is what we thought...that is, until we start seeing people get up and headed out. And, in my spirit, I'm thinking...I just know that the great city of Chicago did not just try the tens of thousands of people that came out to see fireworks with that 4 minute show? I just KNEW that good ole Chi-town didn't let all those masses of people drive from the suburbs to see that short ass sh*t! But, apparently, I was the one that was Boo-Boo the Fool b/c that is exactly what reality was.



Thoroughly disappointed, we got up, made our way through a massive crowd, and met some friends for dinner and drinks.

Pet Peeve #7653547

...bad ass kids in church, or better yet, the parents who let their kids act a fool in church. Here, I am...sitting in church...trying to get my Word on...and my inspiration for the week. Unfortunately, for me, there were two bad ass lil boys in the row in front of me, whose parents seemed to be oblivious to the fact that they were acting a fool. But, I told the devil that I was not going him stop me from getting my Word...so I tried my best to tune them out and to concentrate on the message. That is, until these lil fools decided to get down on the floor and start climbing under the seats. And, I'm talking about...they were wayyy under the seat to the point where one of their mothers had to get on the floor and pull the kids by their ankles to get them up. My thing is...is you had not let his bad ass get down on the floor in the FIRST place, there would not have been a scene. But, now, b/c you didn't make your little terror sit down and be still in the first place, you have managed to interrupt my Word. And, now I have to say an extra prayer to put myself back in the right spirit.

So, for all of you parents out there, if you are not going to control your child at church, send your child to children's church or sit in the balcony...because I go to church to get uplifted...not to have to pray for forgiveness for sitting in church and giving you and your child the evil eye!

Throwback Songs that Make You Go Hmmm...

OK...after many requests, I've decided to resume blogging...so here is what is on my mind right now...

My Launch internet radio staiton has me evaluating the songs that I'm listening to.

OK...now, though this song is that joint, I find it disturbing that Tevin Campbell was singing about breaking it down in 1993 on his "I'm Ready" album, which was a classic, by the way. Clearly, he was like 14...talking about...breaking it down...doing it like some homework...and doing it on the kitchen on the table top...and dripping all over like balls of wax.

Nucca...you fast!

And, the next song that comes on...

Last Night. Why did I forget all about Az Yet? That album was actually pretty hot. But, for real...last night you saw the sun, the moon, the mountains and the rivers. For real?

Nucca hush!

That is all.

Carry on.

Les Moonves -- You're FIRED!!

Well, not necessarily Les Moonves, but whomever was in charge of programming on CBS today needs to be fired. Now, I realize that there were several games that had to be broadcasted today for the NCAA Tournament...but, how in the HELL are you going to leave the Florida game with less then 2 minutes left in the game to switch over to the VA Tech game which was in the beginning of the 2nd half. I mean, for real? You just decide that we don't need to see how the end of the game featuring the overall #1 seed...especially with the game being very close. I mean, are you serious? Yeah...who ever made that decision is a jackass and should be fired, as I now only get to see the HIGHLIGHTS of how the damn game ended. (kickin rocks)

I Can Die a Happy Man...

ONLY IN THE DISTRICT...

yeah...so this evening, I had one of the experiences of my life. And, here is the play by play:

So, today, my boy B that works on the Hill informed me that he had heard of reception that would be occurring tonight where Stevie Wonder would be performing. So, I made plans to go up to the Hill...however, I left work early. And, apparently, at work, emails went back and forth as to when my group of friends should meet at the Hill. At home, I did chores, ran errands, and then took a nap. When I woke up, it was 6:50 p.m. I go to check my Gmail and B's status says" My DC family and I are off to see Stevie." So, I freak out! I call him...no answer. Finally, he responds and says that we are meeting at 7:30. Praise God for dry cleaning b/c I was able to put on a fresh shirt and suit w/in minutes and off to the Hill I go. Then, when I get to the Hill, he calls and says "Um...yeah...so I don't think it's open to the public." And, now I'm sitting in my car with heart broken. However, my boy J sends a text and says he is en route to the Hill. When he gets there, he confirms that the event is indeed a closed event. However, he says that he is standing outside the reception room talking to some friends (he formerly worked on the Hill)...he also says that as he was walking in, he saw Chaka Khan outside. So, he planned on just standing outside and people watching. Since I was already there, I decided to join J. I get up to the lobby outside of the room where this "reception" is occurring...and there are people going in. I was indeed jealous, but not hating. As we are standing there, Wynonna walks up and enters the room. And, then J's friend, a Capitol cop says let me see if we can get you guys in. You may not be able to sit down, but you may can stand. So, he says, just follow me in. And, we did. So, we are in.

Turns out...this wasn't just a reception. It was ASCAP's tribute to Stevie Wonder. In fact, they were awarding him with the American Troubadour Award. As I am standing in this small intimate caucus room (with about, I guess 250 other people, most of whom are seated and eating), I get the feeling that I'm about to be in for something special. And, then I look up, and two tables from where I was standing sat Stevie Wonder and Smokey Robinson. At this point, I'm about to lose it. Then, at a table right in front of me was India.Arie. Still, I had no idea what was about to happen. So, the program starts...and then it happens:

First, the famous trumpeteer John Faddis performs Sir Duke.
Then, Joan Osborne performs You are the Sunshing of My Life.
Then, Brian McKnight performs Lately.
Then, Wyclef Jean performs Master Blaster (and he was gangsta as he freestyled about the war until his guitar was ready)
Then, India.Arie performs
Then, Wynonna performs Signed Sealed Delivered
Then, jazz vocalist Dianne Reeves performs
Then, Ashford & Simpson perform their hit You're All I Need to Get By
Then, Chaka Khan performs Tell Me Something Good
Then, Smokey Robinson performs Tears of a Clown
Then, Tony Bennett performs For Once in My Life
Then, Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder perform the duet For Once in My Life
Then, Stevie Wonder performs My Cherie Amour, Ribbon in the Sky, Overjoyed, AND I Just Called to Say I Love You, in addition to a song that he just wrote two weeks ago and has never performed.

Yeah...you read that right. I was done after Wyclef...and literally felt like I was about to pass out after Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder performed. I'm talking about my knees were shaking and I was trying to contain my happiness and awe. And, I'm not one that gets starstruck. But, the experience was completely surreal. And, I'm still on Cloud 9. Only in the District can you have such an event, which was also attended by numerous members of Congress and the Armed Forces (yeah, I even saw one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff).

Anyways, I'm on my way to bed...but if tonight is it...I'll die happy!